So I’m pregnant, we’re not getting a dog, and I’m pretty sure I’ve been a deer in the headlights for days.
Everything went exactly as it should. At thirteen weeks, we found out that yes, it’s a girl! Everything was going swimmingly. I had to switch doctors for a reason the first one never explained well, but I was happy because the new doctor was exactly the type of practitioner I was looking for. Pro natural birth, was ecstatic that I read Ina May’s book, had a doula, etc. Then at 28 weeks I started bleeding. Not a lot, but enough to freak me out for certain. Two in the morning we head to the ER. That night nothing was found; my vitals were great and so were hers. The bleeding stopped and I went home. Then at 34 weeks it happened again, but worse this time. Also at 2 am, which is still weird to me. I sat up for about an hour in hopes it would just stop on it’s own like the last one, but it didn’t, so again off we go to the ER. Again, they find nothing with all preliminary tests and the doctor on call (I love you Dr. Ryan!) said, “this is her second time in for the same problem, why don’t I have a record of her last ultrasound?” Because they didn’t do one.
Off I go to get my ultrasound and what do they find? A low-lying placenta. Now, at 18 weeks they saw I had a marginal previa which is when the placenta is close to the opening. There are more severe types but mine was the type that typically resolves itself as the pregnancy progresses. My following visit they told me I was in the clear, it had resolved itself. I’m glad I switched doctors offices because if I hadn’t had those bleeds and gone on to try to deliver naturally, my baby and I could have died. Likely would have because I refuse the use of blood transfusions. This is the point where it was decided I was probably going to need a c-section. I was so bummed. Of course it had to be that way if it was safer for us both, but I was really disappointed with the turn of events. I’m put on pelvic rest (nothing up the vajeen!) for the remainder of my pregnancy. That sucked.
Armed with my new information, I go about reading and researching. I make some requests about my delivery and to my delight, my doctor has all the things I want come standard with a c-section package. My doctor pioneered the concept of a gentle cesarean, allowed skin to skin in the delivery room immediately, and sews the uterus back up in two layers of muscle instead of as a single suture. He said doing a single suture saves all of five minutes and makes the possibility of a future VBAC more dangerous. (I love you, too, Dr. M1!)
We get to the end of week 36. My baby shower was held at 36 weeks and 5 days. It was huge, and fun, and I can’t believe how generous all of my guests were. We felt so loved. In the evening I was exhausted. My sister and mother laughed and said, “at least now if you go into labor, the shower is over!” Cue dramatic music.
That night, guess what time it was? Did you guess 2 am? Yup! You were right! Another bleed! Off to the hospital. I’m hooked up to all the monitors and have IVs and I’m so tired and I fall asleep. One of the monitors had been showing tiny contractions that the doctor said was normal for nearly 37 weeks. I fell asleep and evidently I slept through some big ones. The doctor came in the room and watched me sleep through a few and when I woke up she looked amazed.
After shift change, a midwife came in to do an exam. I won’t lie, I hated her. She needed to do an internal exam and just had me roll back and hold my knees because pulling the stirrups out was too much of a pain. Honestly, I wanted to kick her in the face. I look like I’ve eaten a basketball and she tells me to roll back and hold my knees. She decides everything is good and clears me to go home at about 3. My husband and I were starving.
I’m super uncomfortable and kind of afraid but we leave and stop to pick up Five Guys. I just sit in the car and wait. We get home, my husband goes to talk to the next door neighbor, and I go inside. I sit down on the couch, finish my burger, and peed my pants. I thought. I waddle to the bathroom, and on the way I’m thinking, “I can’t believe I just peed my pants! Oh my god, no, what if my water just broke?!” It was neither of those things. Blood was absolutely pouring out of my body at a rate that felt like I was peeing. I pull myself together, go outside and yell, “dude, we’re going back NOW.” Thankfully, he had the presence of mind to grab his food. This was around 4 pm.
We drive to the hospital, I call the maternity ward to let them know we’re coming back, and I keep telling my husband not to drive like an idiot. We’re really close and everything is going to be fine. I was weirdly calm, which is what I do in emergencies. I stay calm, get stuff done, and when it’s all over, I collapse into a ball. Sometimes with tears, sometimes not. Anyway, we get there and since it’s not the middle of the night, I refuse to go through the ER because I don’t want to wait for anything or anyone to come get me. Sent hubby off to park and I (half squatting, half doubled over) walk to the elevator, get to the second floor, went left, left, right, and walked into the maternity ward. The nurses looked at me like I was crazy but I did what I needed to do. By the way, while I was in the elevator (TMI ALERT!!!!!) I felt something slide out of me and I was convinced it was my dismembered baby’s foot coming out. Turns out it was a clot the size of a baseball, which was super disturbing but at least it wasn’t a piece of my baby.
They set me up again with all the monitors and IVs, and Dr. Ryan came to see me. Thank goodness that midwife was gone. I get yet another internal exam, but she can hardly see what’s going on for all the blood. She determined I was a centimeter dilated and the end of my placenta was hanging out. Which explains all the blood. While this is happening, hubby is eating his burger. At least he got to
eat despite the wreckage of the day. After all, this began at 2 am, we slept for maybe four hours at the hospital that morning, and here it is at 6 pm, and he finally gets to eat his burger while my blood is all over the place and the doctor is talking about my placenta falling out. She then wants to confer with my doctor and his associate (who would eventually be the baby’s pediatrician. Love you, Dr. M2!) to discuss what to do with me. She came back around 7 pm.
“I talked with the others and we all said the same thing. Strike three, you’re out, and you are having a baby tonight.” I felt like David at the Dentist. “Is this real life?” Then Dr. Morton and Dr. Magee showed up, said hi, let’s do this. It’s so weird to see your doctor in street clothes, isn’t it? I’ve only ever seen them in lab coats and scrubs, and here I go, pulling them into the hospital when they’re running around being regular people!
Everything goes underway, I’m about to go into the OR and one of the nurses is laughing and says, “I have never seen a woman being wheeled in for an urgent c-section looking so calm and.... almost happy.” Honestly, after all the bleeding drama, I was (kind of) ready. Ready to be not pregnant physically, I suppose you could say. I’m pretty sure that I hadn’t yet processed what was actually happening, though.
All the prep is happening. I’m in the OR getting my spinal block and Dr. M1 was hugging me to keep my back hunched at just the right spot. Man, it was so weird losing feeling in my feet. You tell them to move and they just DON’T! Then they swab your forehead to feel the temperature of an alcohol swab, then do your chest. When the temperatures feel vastly different, you’re ready. Hubby and my doula (Suzie) joined us. They start up my music playlist and Dr. M1 is jamming out to Stand By Me. Then, after all sorts of weird sensations, there’s a baby crying. MY baby. They put her on my chest, but I didn’t realize what was happening. By the time my brain caught up, they were taking her away because she wasn’t clearing her lungs fast enough. They worked quickly, and she was perfectly fine. 5 pounds 12 ounces of a tiny person that I grew! It was mind blowing.
I wanted her back, but they had to take her to the nursery to make sure she was 100% stable and hubby got to do skin to skin while they stitched me back up. I was so glad my doula was there to talk to me and keep me occupied, otherwise that would have been the longest hour of my life. Baby girl was born at 9:09 pm. When all was said and done, back in my room, with those weird balloons keeping my legs from getting clots, I got to meet her for real, I think close to midnight. It was one of the most surreal moments of my life.
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